Isn't it interesting how sometimes we want time to slow down, to halt, to beckon us back and forth to the same moment--and other times we want time to fly, to say sayonara to this moment and hello to the next as fast as we can--the Sunday morning sermon that God surely meant for someone else--the waiting room while appointment is pending--the college class with the oh so boring lecturer for an instructor--
As I sit here and ponder this, I wonder, "Lord, how do I wait upon you?--what do I do to ensure that I am conserving time for you to show yourself to me, time for me to commune with you, time for us to be together?"
Yes, there is always the morning time--time that I need, time that is heavy with desire for your validation upon my day, time that has become a lifeline for me. "But more than that, Lord, I want more than that. How do I wait upon you? Show me Lord. Please show me Lord. How do I wait for you?"
I think about the years that have passed so swiftly and my mind is pregnant with the weight of wanting to make every moment that I have left count--count, counting?
-----Anxious thoughts go to an old classic hymn, Amazing Grace, and to last stanza--"When we've been there 10,000 years, we've no less days to sing Your praise than when the 10,000 years first begun." How long would I have to carry that thought before the full significance is birthed in my being?
For now I will relax and live this life you have given me. Will start my day with you--preparing old jar of clay to pour out mixture of divine love and mercy whenever and wherever you lead.
In the meantime, I will stay my mind upon you. Yes, I think that is what it means--slow down and wait for you. Not that I change my activities so much, but change my thinking.
I remember one of my favorite scriptures--Isaiah 56:3--Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.
I will go about my daily chores, routines, hobbies, and volunteering with my mind stayed upon You--KNOWING that one day I will never have to be concerned about running out of time. One day when hello and goodbye, now and then, yesterday, today, and tomorrow will have no distinction--
photograph: a picture I changed to watercolor filter of some of my calligraphy
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